Thursday, September 30, 2010

A bit of video fun for its own sake: Our cat climbing the garden gate | (Yes, art therapy can be fun too! It should be time to time!)

Fun for its own sake- thats what both the 3 little clips which went into making this video were, as was making it. That's a good thing. Even an "emotional bathysphere" such as I needs a break from sturm und drang, and anyone living with chronic pain or disability has more than enough of that in their lives.

This is another view which makes me something of an "art therapy heretic" but after 15 years in the church, I'm used to that! My "faith stream's" founder was decried as a wild boar running amok in the Lord's garden, so being a heretic isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Light and fun as shooting and producing this was, it is a significant event in my life. With its devastating effects on energy and concentration, fibro had robbed me of my ability to do the sort of elaborate and carefully constructed videos which had been my wont and my great pleasure. While this has been the case, I've never accepted it had to be so. I've been determined to find a way to work around the limited energy and attention span. This video is an experiment in doing just that, and it came out quite well.

The way I was able to make this was work was to break everything down to its most elemental and do that sequentially. So first I collected the video clips, then the pictures, then I put them in the editor, and within the editor I did each type of editing on all the clips, saved the project, cleared my head with something else, came back and continued. I also tried to keep this as simple as possible.

I hope to be able to apply these principles to more videos. If there's more to learn about living with fibro's crushing pain and lack of energy while still being a creative human being, I will. I will NOT concede ultimate defeat to this. A tactical retreat might be necessary from time to time, but surrender is not a concept I accept.

Here's the boilerplate from Youtube:

Three fun clips of my clat climbing the garden fence, mixed with photos of my wife holding her and her in the flower garden behind. Its been so hard to work on videos with fibro, wanted to try something simple and fun to get back into it. I had fun making this, I hope you have fun watching it!

Radio commercial is Creative Commons BY-NC-SA from http://www.archive.org/details/Vintag...

Visuals also cc: ny-nc-sa http://listig.multiply.com & http://suffering-and-art-therapy.blog...

PS- Fun fact: Phoebe here is almost 15 years old! She's a very active & healthy elderly kitty!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Job 19:26 Word Picture - Flesh fails, yet shall see God

This verse was the original one requested and this picture is what got me to act on the request. When I saw it afterwards I was taken with how vividly and perfectly it illustrates the verse.

That water is present in both pictures is not coincidental. I never miss an opportunity to take photos of flowers after a heavy fog or rain, the results are always quite impressive.

This is the same kind of flower- a cosmos- as the one for verse 25. Could even be the exact same flower.

It had been my intent to do this in landscape format as the previous one was, however when looking at the photos the words of this verse worked as perfectly above and below the flower as the ones to verse 25 had worked along side it.

Should the need arise I could do a version of it in landscape mode, however I decided it was better to go with the artistic "dao" than to force conformity between the two for conformity's sake.

The monochrome versions are below. The first looks better, the second prints better. This is not a picture which converts well to monochrome... far too much of the intensity of the withered petals and faded center is lost.

Better looking mono, using Floyd-S dithering setting 160, then inverted.

Prints out better. Same dithering as above. This was the first mono version I created.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Words & a picture: Job 19:25 and a cosmos

Foreword: There are some creative endeavors which have meaning even beyond the obvious. These are those which let us still engage in the pursuits and interests we had before suffering and disability came. I was a pastor/chaplain/missionary/evangelist. When I create these "Word Pictures" it engages me both creatively and spiritually.

The latter is something accessible to anyone who is disabled, whether they were of a spiritual vocation or not, and regardless of their particular spirituality. I find that engaging in the creative endeavor always brings me closer to God because God is the creator, and when I'm creating, I'm in unity with him. Additionally, since visual arts are my primary medium, I'm always working with the beauties of creation. Those are both dynamics which anyone who is disabled or suffering can engage in, and I highly urge you to do so.

Color, full sized

Only "fx" a bit of sharpening. Photo when taken was under exposed with fill flash, right after a heavy rain.

Mono, full sized

>
Converted to black and white by Floyd–Steinberg dithering, setting = 19

Color, half sized

Mono, half sized

There are many interesting aspects about this project.

To begin with, this started with a suggestion from a friend that I do Job 19:26. I agreed, its a great verse and often used in funeral liturgies, but when I looked at the context, I was taken with the previous (this) verse as well. It is the most beautiful expression of the Gospel in the Old Testament. Initially I thought to do both verses in one image, but that would have been too cluttered- neither the words nor the images would have been of a size to be worthwhile.

So how is it that I wound up doing this verse first? I worked backwards. I had been sitting on the request to do Job 19:26 for a couple of months. Then last week I took a picture of a cosmos withered up not at all thinking of the verse, but just because it was visually compelling. When I looked at the pictures though the verse immediately came to mind.

When I realized I wanted to do verse 25 as well I had to find a picture of the same flower with the same tone as the withered one. Here's where the story gets exciting (for me anyway)

I picked out eight candidates and reviewed them with my wife this afternoon. This photo was her immediate choice and I concurred. I had thought to leave it with that and proceed to do the requested verse first, but somehow this photo and the verse grabbed hold of me... and 10 minutes later, it was done except for adding in the credits and doing the reduced colors and sized versions.

I've never had a word picture come together so quickly, nor have I ever been so pleased. The words just naturally flowed around the shape of the flower. It was magical. Not only was I pleased with the end result, but I was pleased at how transparent to the process I became as I was doing it. I used to have that experience all the time before fibro took over my life, this is the first time I've had it in months.

I hope to do verse 26 soon so you can see them as I do in my mind, as a pair. The verses go SO well together and so will the finished projects.

Administrivia:

This is in landscape mode and I do not plan on doing a portrait mode unless asked because of how well the words flowed around the image. I can't image a portrait format being as artistically perfect, but if needed I will give it a try.

I usually create multiple monochrome versions. In this case though, with the dark and deeply saturated original, I am not going to. It was hard enough to get one good one. This image is a PERFECT example of why I go to the extra effort to create monochrome versions. When I printed the color image to my B&W laser printer, it was a disaster.

At the moment the images are only on Multiply and Facebook. I do plan to upload them to the other sites where I make my "Word Pictures" available but I'm worn out right now... doing things on the web still takes a lot out of me, so that will have to await another day. I'll probably wait until I have the image for verse 26 before I do those uploads.

Improved, MUCH better monochrome version

Full sized

This goes again to show why I put the extra effort into creating high quality monochrome versions of my Word Pictures ... the previous mono versions looked great on the screen but when I printed them they were ugly and muddled.

So I simply inverted the colors ("negative" in most software) and replaced the black "F" with white in the "For" because when I printed the invert the first time the "F" was not as clear as I'd like.

The same trick could be applied to any of my previous mono versions which are darker. I've come to see that monochrome versions need to be predominately white with black details. One is always learning as long as one is living.

half size

Job 19:25 Word Picture - "I know that my Redeemer lives" | IMPROVED monochrome versions

Full sized

So I simply inverted the colors ("negative" in most software) and replaced the black "F" with white in the "For" because when I printed the invert the first time the "F" was not as clear as I'd like.

half size

Friday, September 24, 2010

TODAY'S BEAUTY: 5 Petaled Zinnia rendered as a pencil sketch

This is a photo of a Zinnia with all but 5 petals gone which I ran through FotoSketcher. The filter is pencil sketch #3.

Its part of a series I started of using different filters in FS and PhotoFilter but never quite finished. This is my favorite of the series so far, so I thought it perfect to share with you as "today's beauty."

FotoSketcher is a fantastic program for rendering photos into paintings as you see.

As usual the original photo was under-exposed by two stops with fill flash.

http://www.fotosketcher.com/

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Toothbrush Rugs: Grocery bags as an art form- my waiting room rug & Creativity is the best medicine

I started this rug in January as a rug to work on while in the waiting room at doctors' offices and while waiting for scans. Mind you, I always have a rug with me at such events, but often it is what ever rug I'm working on, and the rugs I had started before fibro were too complicated in their planning for what I was able to deal with.

So this one is very simple- its to be an abstract flower. The center is all yellow, the rest alternating white and yellow. Such an easy scheme I could pull off even in deepest fibrofog / agony, and as you can see, I have. At 20" it would be close to done were I to stick to my 24 - 26 inch standard, but plastic bag rugs I often make larger. I'll keep working on it until I'm sick of it. Yeh, nothing deeper that that. Really, that's often the reason I decide to finish a rug off. These are a pleasant past time. When they stop pleasing me, I move on to another one.

This craft is inherently "green" as even the needle is recycled, but I especially love the "beautiful recycling" aspect of making rugs from grocery bags. We all go through so many, and even when we take them to the store to be recycled, lots of fossil fuels have to be expended to reuse them. Not so when made into a rug. The environmental impact is zero, since I do these during "down time."

So each colored section above = one half bag. I've never calculated how many it takes to make a rug, but you can imagine it takes a vast quantity.

Shopping bags are ideal, they have the right strength and surface. My mother has made them from bread bags and newspaper bags, but these stretch out more easily and have stickier surfaces so aren't as easy to work with.

I take a bag, fold it in half, and cut it. I don't cut slits, I use one handle of the bag for one end, and punch a hole with my needle for the other. So in this you see I remain true to my prime directive that these rugs are to be fun, relaxing, easy. Sure, you could cut up the bag other ways, but this takes the least time and effort so its what I do.

Handicrafts most certainly do count as "art therapy" as much as painting or photography. They are creative, a means of expression, something on which to focus other than suffering. I take a very "holistic" view of art therapy, not a narrowly defined one that it must somehow directly relate to expressing or processing your suffering. My view is... sometimes the best way to process suffering is to take a break from it. We who live this life are supersaturated in suffering. I hardly think its necessary that everything we do revolve around it... and indeed, there is immense benefit in finding what we are able to do in spite of, regardless of, the pain and limitations under which we live. (Yes, actually have had this argument... more than once, sadly.)

Indeed, I'm sometimes reticent to depict my art- be it photography or the rugs or videos- as art therapy because that makes them relate to fibro... when really, they are what frees me from fibro, frees me to be me. I can't chop wood or ride the bongo board or very often even drive because of fibro, but these are things which give me joy and are of my essence which I can still do. I

So why do I always post these as "the art of suffering?" Because I want to encourage other people who are disabled and pain ridden to find themselves through art and creativity because for all the wonders of modern medical science- doctors and pills cannot make you you, they can-at best- make it possible for you to be you.

This is the sister blog to "TheArtOfSuffering.blog.com"

Hello, I'm a mid 40s male with fibromyalgia, just diagnosed mid 2010. In addition, my wife has been disabled with migraines for 5 years and has had them most of our 15+ years together. We are both dynamic, intense, creative people and this continues to be the case. However, fibro & migraines both limit our range of activities and make engaging in those still open to us more essential.

I originally created theartofsuffering.blog.com to showcase my creative endeavors to address & express my condition AND encourage others to do so. I intend to keep it up, however several logistical difficulties have led to the necessity of creating a sister blog here at blogger, where I already have a blog dedicated to one of my creative endeavors- recycling old clothes, plastic bags, etc into rugs via an old folk craft known as "toothbrush rugs". You can check it out here.

I hope you can see back posts at the original blog, and I hope in the future to post to both.

Besides the old handicraft, photos and videos are my main media, with a special emphasis on photography from a different perspective (PoV) or with different lighting than one usually sees and videos which employ repeating elements similar to a musical chaconne or fugue.

Burning Bush - Slate Sky - Sample image AND why I've been doing daily art posts

I've taken easily over 100 pictures like this, I do plan to post them to an album, but I don't have the energy to do that today, and therein lies something worthwhile to comment on.

For years while I watched my wife suffer the torments of migraines with no relief, I urged her to grasp back at life, to pull some of it back from the maw of the demonic beast which had taken over her life. Since she is a dynamic creative person, a major thing I encouraged her in was expressing herself creatively and engaging that rich inner world of hers. Its paid off... she's written two incredible novels (as yet sadly unpublished), is well on her way to finishing a third, and has done numerous outstanding paintings (as yet sadly unposted.)

Since my atraumatic fracture of my femur last November, the discovery of osteoporosis & the diagnosis of fibromyalgia, I've had the unique opportunity (how I dearly hope its unique!) for me to practice what I've long been preaching.

When fibro first struck me down though it was a tough transition to make... before fibro, I was routinely doing major complex projects such as my video tour-de-force "Fire Spirit, Inspired by the music of Troll's Den." which featured photos I took of this same shrub- the "burning bush"- last year, using an innovative "animation" style which has greatly informed subsequent projects.

I couldn't begin to maitain the energy levels and concentration it took to create that now. I kept trying and projects kept being left uncompleted.

So lately I've learned to grasp on to what bits of energy and focus I have, for as long as I have them, and do smaller projects.

The next step will be to break the larger projects into smaller bits I can still do, but I want to get more well established in this groove of posting something creative every day before I do this.

About the photo

I used the "relief more" filter on it, but otherwise, this photo actually features far less "magic" than most of mine. I didn't adjust the exposure at all, I simply set the camera to "macro focus" so it could capture the leaves at low light settings.

When I'm able to process all the "Burning bush- slate sky" photos, I'll do an album. For now though, this stunning picture serves as today's window into my creative soul.